How to write your own Wedding Vows

How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows

If you and your future spouse are writing your own vows, you have the opportunity to create a very personalized experience that will touch your guests and your significant other. However, it can also be scary. You're sharing your most intimate thoughts and love for another person in front of a crowd of people. And while you want it to be sweet and show how much you love one another, you also don't want to feel silly. 

Before you start, talk to your future spouse and the person who is officiating your marriage to make sure everyone is on board. Some officiants only allow traditional vows because it allows your guests to recommit to their partners while you commit to yours for the first time. Once you get the okay, use the following tips to successfully write your own wedding vows. 

Step One: Decide Whether You're Writing Them On Your Own

You can write your vows on your own or with your partner. if you do it on your own, it'll be a different process than if you do it together. You also have to decide whether you're going to say the same vows or different vows. Make sure to talk about this as soon as you decide to write your own vows so there aren't any surprises at the rehearsal.

Step Two: Write Down Everything You Love About Your Future Spouse

Is he funny? Caring? Does he always know exactly the right thing to say? Think about all of the things that make your heart pound when you think about him. This will establish for you and for your guests how much you care about him and will put him in your mind as you write your vows. 

If you're having trouble getting started, ask yourself:

*What is his best quality?
*How did you know you were in love with your partner?
*What's your favorite memory of your partner?
*How do you feel when you're together?

Step Three: Make Promises To One Another

What would you like him to promise to you? What do you want to promise to him? This is the chance for you to evaluate the things that make your relationship special and the things that are unique to the two of you. Be specific, but don't say anything that will embarrass either one of yo. Don't worry, it's okay to say something that will make people laugh, as long as it's something that you mean sincerely - like promising to always ask before you buy a new pair of shoes or make him eggs over easy every Saturday. Remember that you're basically making a pact, so you want to make one that will mean something to the two of you and that will make your relationship healthier. 

*What does your future spouse appreciate about you?
*What do you appreciate about him?
*What would make your relationship healthier?

Step Four: Putting It All Together

When it all comes down to it, you want to start by declaring your love for the other person. "Mike, you're the most wonderful man I've ever met. You're caring and compassionate, smart and you never stop working towards a better relationship. I love you completely."

From there, you can add personal touches, such as a shared memory or when you knew that he was the right person for you or the thing that makes you love him more every day. 

Also include your actual promises to one another. "I promise to listen to your ideas, encourage you and never go to bed angry." 

Step Five: Practice Makes Perfect

Practice saying your vows in a mirror, just like you used to do for speech class. Remember to pause and to give yourself space to cry, if it's necessary. Try to keep it under 3 minutes. And, if you have to, limit the number of words the two of you use.

Writing your own vows is a beautifully personal way to celebrate your love for one another as you pledge to share your lives together. You can make them specific to the two of you while sharing the love you celebrate with your guests.

Mary Comerford